im in despair. seriously.. especially over math, which is my singularly most hopeless subject.
i know i just dont have a head for math. i just totally DIE. the tests of late have all killed me.. and i know, it's not just being merely careless or being too tired or whatever lame excuse i can come up with. think it's more to do with lack of practice and a complete inability on my part to do math. it's not that i hate math.. i like it if i can do it, and sometimes it even is strangely wonderful how the numbers just come tgt and how completely unrelated quantities can somehow relate.. and being able to do math allows me to feel a sense of accomplishment and it somehow makes my brain more orderly..(?)
but sigh this doesnt happen anymore. and now all that face me is just a mess of senseless figures and calculations. and it's me.. like how i dun even bother to try and do it. cos i know i probably won't be able to do. i'll do bit parts.. those simple ones eg integration substitution, i'll do all the subs and dx and changing everything, but when it comes to really integrating it, i'm at a loss... i really think i dun have an ability for math... and now the numbers are a mess and my brain is in a mess.. and i'm so damn afraid. damnit. i'll mug math! MUG MATH...
SIGH. im think that i may be rather dumb, and all the past has been a fluke. ohwell.
