i just bought meself a pair of PURPLE running shoes!!

when i see the colour purple (not the book haha) my mood always lightens and i will feel happy and contented for a few moments.

i think i'm crazy sometimes. HAHAHA.





note to self: MUST WATCH MOVIE.

too beautiful ;
6:32 AM;

some days i feel like killing and tearing things and swearing nonstop and today is one of them. the bloody hw is killing me. and i feel like killing it. and everything sucks now. and the stupid bloody sore throat and stuffed nose is not at all helping.

gnd.

too beautiful ;
8:47 AM;

hmm i'm updating with astounding regularity these days!

i have no idea what to write about but just felt like writing a crappy post. right now i feel so entirely useless and unmotivated, which is the usual. i totally think i suck, i can't bring myself to do more work than i am supposed to. and i mean the barest of minimums.

AHH napfa 2.4km tmr. i hate 2.4 cos it's the only thing that prevents me from getting a perfect 30 for napfa test. yes i know i run very slowly. but i have managed to sub 14 before, so i'm hoping i can manage that feat once again. (WAHAHAHA, i'm slow, as i already said) the other item that jeopardises the 30 score is sit and reach. what ppl always say about girls being more flexible is false. i can't bloody touch my toes when bending down with legs straight!

alrighty, i better get back to my gp, which is terrible right now cos i really cannot think of anything to write. and maybe if i'm in the mood, attempt a qn or two for h3 chem.

too beautiful ;
8:47 AM;

i feel so frickin' dumb.

this is one of the first times i feel so utterly confused and reluctant.. reluctant to drop AND reluctant to continue h3. i REALLY DUNNO. at first i was so getting ready to enjoy my new-found freedom, then i got myself swayed too easily into attending the h3 lecture, after which i went to speak with my teacher about h3 and stuff. and apparently she decided to give me another chance!! which is great. but i cancelled the h3 subject registration earlier in the morning, so now i have to go find some teacher again and get them to 'reinstate' the subject.

coming back to the point, i am really still in a dilemma, although everyone encourages me to continue. and i guess i should, since i've already caused enough trouble by quitting and un-quitting h3 (haha) and they would probably kill me if i were to say i want to drop it and then decide not to drop it.. and the cycle continues. but... ARGH. i can't articulate my feelings into words. it's like, i'm in dilemma whether to continue, and when they didn't accept my appeal, i debated whether to appeal against my appeal (-.-), and when i finally decided to try and appeal, i was given another chance and now once again, i'm still HESITATING.

BUT CANNOT LAH. take means take. even if i flung my h3 at a levels i will still take.

i guess i have to work doubly hard now... i have to prove to myself and people around that I CAN DO IT. YES, sophia soh, you can do it.

ARGH.... I CAN'T STAND IT.... why can't i be more decisive? why do i still hold on to a subject that will probably bear not much importance in the future? why can't i just quit and walk away and save myself all that trouble?

nevertheless, COME ON, I CAN DO IT. JIAYOU TO ME. (and to everyone else as well)

too beautiful ;
8:15 AM;

i can't believe i didn't mention anything about njcc. two days of excitement, intensity, nervousness, anxiety, happiness, unhappiness, rain, tiredness, too much bread, cereal and not to mention no lunch, ending off with a nice dinner at pizza hut. altogether an amazing two days. we had so many firsts (i don't mean in terms of pieces of metal haha) but in terms of experiences...

from now on, training will only get tougher. we have to work so much harder to improve, to better ourselves, such that we become not just worthy opponents, but opponents others will fear.

JIAYOU. ALL THE WAY.

too beautiful ;
6:42 AM;

too beautiful ;
6:37 AM;